Everything we wish we'd known before day one.

BDSM is an umbrella term for three overlapping things: Bondage & Discipline (restraint and rules), Dominance & submission (power exchange, often called D/s) and Sadism & Masochism (giving or receiving intense sensation, sometimes pain).

You don't need to do all of it. Many people enjoy only one corner, like pure power exchange with no pain, or rope with no roleplay.

• Dom / Domme: the person in charge (Domme is often used for women and femme people).
• sub: the person who hands over control.
• Switch: enjoys both sides, depending on mood or partner.
• Top / bottom: who is doing the action vs. receiving it in a scene. A sub can top, and a Dom can bottom.
• Scene: an agreed play session with a clear start and end.

Consent is what separates kink from abuse. It has to be informed, freely given, specific, current and reversible. A "yes" last week, or a body that seems into it, is not consent for today.

• SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual): the classic starting point. Play stays within reasonable safety.
• RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink): admits that no play is 100% safe, so everyone must understand and accept the risks.
• PRICK (Personal Responsibility, Informed Consensual Kink): each person owns their choices and does their own homework.
• FRIES (Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, Specific): a modern checklist for every single yes.

On camera, consent also covers recording and publishing. Agree in writing on what can be filmed, where it will be posted and for how long.

Before any scene (with a partner, a collaborator, or even a custom request from a fan), talk it through while everyone is calm and clothed.

• Hard limits: never, no exceptions. These are not up for discussion mid-scene.
• Soft limits: maybe, under certain conditions (lighter intensity, after trust is built, never on camera).
• Yes list: things you actively want.
• Health: injuries, asthma, heart issues, medication, mental-health triggers, allergies (latex, wax, lube).
• Logistics: how long, what gear, who can stop it, what happens after.

Write your yes / maybe / no list and save it. You'll paste the same limits into your DenJouir AI persona, so it never offers fans anything you don't do.

A safeword stops or slows play instantly, with no questions and no sulking. "No" and "stop" are often part of roleplay, so pick words that would never come up naturally.

• Traffic lights: Green = keep going, Yellow = slow down / check in, Red = stop now.
• Non-verbal signals for gags or heavy roleplay: drop a held object (keys, a ball), tap out three times, or hum a set tune.
• Check-ins: the top asks "colour?" regularly. A missing or slow answer counts as yellow.
• Anyone can call it, including the Dom. Stopping a scene is never a failure.

Start simple, go slow and learn one thing at a time. Most injuries come from rushing or from cheap gear.

• Rope: keep safety shears within reach at all times. Never tie around the neck. Watch for numbness, tingling or cold hands (nerve pressure on the inner arm and wrist). Never leave a tied person alone.
• Impact (spanking, paddles, floggers): aim for fleshy areas like the buttocks and upper thighs. Avoid the kidneys, spine, joints, neck, face and tailbone. Warm up lightly first.
• Wax: use low-temperature candles (soy or special play candles), not regular taper candles. Test on your own inner wrist first and hold the candle higher for less heat.
• Restraints: cuffs should fit one finger underneath. Never use anything that tightens on its own (zip ties, plastic cuffs).
• Body-safe toys: silicone, glass or stainless steel. Clean between uses and never share without a barrier.

Breath play and choking carry a real risk of brain injury and death, even for experienced players. Don't do it, and never show it on camera.

Aftercare is the gentle wind-down after a scene: water, a snack, a blanket, cuddles or quiet space, and a chat about what worked.

Hours or even days later, either person can feel a crash: sadness, guilt, tiredness, feeling unloved. This is called sub drop, or Dom drop for the top. It's common and it passes.

• Agree on aftercare during negotiation. Some people want touch, others want space.
• Doms need aftercare too.
• Send a check-in message the next day.
• Creators: plan your own aftercare after an intense shoot or a heavy fan session. Log off, eat and rest.

Experienced players often underestimate how different filmed play is. The camera adds an audience that you cannot un-share.

• Shoot fewer, cleaner scenes. Long edge or endurance play can push someone past their real limits while everyone is focused on the shot.
• Get a signed model release and ID check for every person on camera, every time. Record their stated limits.
• Keep a "stop camera" signal that is separate from the safeword.
• Avoid showing anything that looks non-consensual without a clear consent frame. Platforms and payment providers remove it, and it hurts the community's image.
• Teach while you play: briefly showing the check-in or the safety shears builds trust with curious fans.

• Sign up as a creator. Our team approves new accounts before your first log-in.
• Open your Dashboard. The Home tab shows a short setup checklist with a progress bar.
• Add a crypto wallet in Earnings & Payouts → "Where you get paid" (or create one there).
• Pick a plan in My Plan, or start a 7-day free trial of a premium tool (no payment needed).
• Set up your AI Chatter with your persona, tone and hard limits.
• Upload photos or videos in My Content (up to 50 MB each). The team reviews them before they go live.

The AI chats with your fans 24/7 in your style, so you're not stuck answering DMs all night. It needs an active plan.

• Your hard limits and safe words always come first. The AI will never offer or agree to them.
• Fans get free messages each month (10 for non-subscribers, then 100 / 300 / 600 for Bronze / Silver / Gold) and can buy message packs for more.
• You can read conversations and adjust the persona at any time.

• Starter $79.99/month: AI assistant and basic stats.
• Pro $399/month: adds the AI video maker, the 360° Meetup room, leak protection and post ideas.
• Elite $999/month: adds an income forecast, top placement in fan matching and a personal helper.
• Upgrading only charges the difference. Downgrades start when the current month ends.
• Fan subscription prices are set by DenJouir (Bronze $9.99, Silver $19.99, Gold $29.99). You set your own prices for content packs, custom requests and your Academy Pass.

Fans pay in crypto (BTC, ETH, USDT or USDC) straight into your own wallet, so nobody can freeze your money or delay a payout.

• Fees: subscriptions 17%, tips 10%, content packs 10%, message packs 20%, custom requests 5%, Academy passes 5%.
• Because the money lands in your wallet first, you pay the fees with the "Remit fees" button in "Money you've received".

Every creator can sell courses. Educator-only accounts are built for teachers who don't post adult content at all.

• Fans buy your monthly Academy Pass (you pick the price) to unlock all your courses for 30 days. You keep 95%.
• Mark a few lessons as free previews so new fans can try before they buy.
• Every course is reviewed for safety and consent framing before it goes public. Editing an approved course sends it back for review.

• The 360° Meetup room (Pro/Elite) gives fans an immersive space to visit your persona. Non-subscribers get 5 free poses with each creator in total, then they need to subscribe.
• Fan matching connects you with fans whose kinks fit what you've opted in to, never anything you've excluded.
• Use the Grow tab for post ideas, and keep an eye on which content packs sell to plan your next shoot.

• Choose a stage name that has no link to your real name, pets, street or old usernames.
• Create a new email address used only for creator work, and a separate phone number (a second SIM or an internet number).
• Use a separate browser profile, or a separate device, so you never post from the wrong account.
• Never reuse profile photos from your personal accounts. Reverse-image search can connect them in seconds.
• Turn on two-step login everywhere and use a password manager.

• Strip location data (EXIF metadata) before uploading. Most phones can turn off camera location; also run files through a metadata remover.
• Check the background: mail, windows with a view, distinctive furniture, artwork, mirrors and reflections in glasses or screens.
• Cover or edit out tattoos, birthmarks and recognisable jewellery if you want to stay anonymous.
• Be careful with your voice, accent and catch-phrases on public posts. A voice changer or text-only content is fine.
• Watermark your content with your stage name. It discourages leaks and proves ownership later.

• Never post in real time from places you go regularly. Post later, after you've left.
• Don't mention your city, local events, weather or your workplace.
• Use a PO box or a mail-forwarding service for any fan gifts. Never use your home address.
• If you want people in your home area to never see you, use regional blocking on platforms that offer it.

• Keep all chat and payments on the platform. Moving to private apps removes your protection and the records you'd need in a dispute.
• Be wary of fans who push for your real name, location or "just one" free photo. Block early, block often.
• We strongly suggest never meeting fans in person. If you choose to, meet only in public, tell a friend where you are, and set up a check-in call.
• Screenshot threats and report them to the DenJouir team straight away.

• Don't engage with the person. Document everything: screenshots, links and dates.
• Lock down your personal accounts (make them private and remove old photos).
• Ask data-broker sites to remove your home address and phone number.
• Report it to each platform, and to the police if there are threats.
• Contact the DenJouir team for help with takedowns, and lean on trusted friends. You don't have to deal with it alone.

• In most countries creator income is self-employment income and is taxable, even when it's paid in crypto.
• A common rule of thumb is to set aside 25–30% of everything you earn for tax.
• Keep records: dates, amounts, the crypto price on the day you were paid, and your business costs (gear, lighting, outfits, software, plan fees).
• Swapping crypto to cash or to another coin can count as a taxable event in many countries.
• Look for an accountant who works with online creators or sex workers. They'll know what you can deduct.

• Everyone involved must be 18 or older. Check and keep a copy of the ID of anyone who appears in your content.
• Get a signed release from every collaborator that says what was filmed and where it can be posted.
• Never record or post anyone without their clear, written consent, including people in the background.
• Laws on adult content and some kinks differ by country and state. Check the rules where you live.

• Your original content is your copyright. You can send DMCA takedown notices to websites and search engines that host stolen copies.
• Keep your original files and watermarks; they prove the content is yours.
• DenJouir Pro and Elite include leak protection: we watch for stolen copies and help take them down.
• If intimate content was shared without your consent, StopNCII.org can help block it on major platforms, and the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative runs a support helpline.

Creator work is always-on, and kink content can be emotionally heavy. Burnout often creeps up slowly.

• Warning signs: dreading your phone, feeling numb during shoots, poor sleep, resenting fans.
• Set work hours and let the AI Chatter cover the rest of the time.
• Batch-shoot content on one or two days a week instead of creating every day.
• Take real days off, and keep friends and hobbies that have nothing to do with your work.
• Find a kink-aware therapist (the NCSF Kink Aware Professionals directory lists them) so you never have to explain or defend the basics.

• Don't rely on one income stream. Mix subscriptions, packs, customs and Academy courses.
• Keep a 3–6 month savings buffer in a stable coin or in cash.
• Own your audience: collect fans on platforms you control so a ban elsewhere doesn't wipe you out.
• Review your numbers monthly and drop the content that takes the most time for the least money.